Journey to the WEST!

Hi, people from all over the world!
Welcome (back) to my blog!
Guess what, I'm currently a freshman in Colorado State University! *teehee*

It is almost my 2nd month here. I don't feel homesick or forlorn yet, strangely. However, the thing I miss the most is the FOOD of Indonesia!
More details about the environment here soon.


I have so many things to pour on this blog right now especially about the previous months in my absence of blogging.
The gap months I took was really tiring as well as dramatic!
There were packing, reconciliations, meetings to bidding farewell to do.

For all of you who are going to study abroad or leaving your home, here are my experiences and advices to you guys. I'll do my best in organizing this as coherent as I can and pardon me if it gets so repetitive or unorganized. :D

3 months to go to US. That's what I said to myself every night before hitting the bed. I feel very anxious, excited, sad and terrified at the same time. There were some friends who departed earlier than me. Originally, I didn't get why they felt so sad and cried when they are about to go. I thought that it was just simple "go, study, and  come back". I didn't think that it will be hard to study abroad for "just" 4 years because I have some friends that succeed in doing so and even maintained a long distance relationship.

1st month, June. Hang outs, convoys, tuitions, and internships pretty much sums up my activities in June. Some of my friends left to pursue their bachelor degree in June though. A few of them were the people whom I always hang out with and I felt an absence since their leaving. Losing some friends do hurt but I know that we will one day reconcile and reunite at the pinnacle. And "whooshh" there goes thirty beautiful days.

 I thought that it was just simple "go, study, and  come back"

2nd month, July. I began to buy stuffs that I will (and probably won't) need to bring. This sounds like a detour of narrative but I think this is some important things to have in your check lists if you will be in my position. I stocked more than a dozen of underwear and a dozen pair of socks! I don't think that I need to explain why. Another important thing is an adaptor and extension socket. The last point is probably medicines and stationary. Don't underestimate stationaries, you could argue that a great sword man does not differentiate swords but with the same sword you used in your years of training, I believe that you will perform better. 

Again, some more brothers and sisters left for their university and I know that we will one day reconcile and reunite at the pinnacle. This time, I felt even sadder when I see them posting their photos on instagram captioning "Goodbye Medan" or something similar. Some more days and I will be in their shoes.

Another highlight in July is that it is the last time I would meet my younger sister, Evangeline Tiara Wilson, in 2014. I was so morose to learn the fact that it was probably the last family picture opportunity in couple of years. We might underestimate the importance of a family picture but when you come to situation like mine, you will finally realize how great a family picture is. I beg everyone who read this, please realize how lucky you are being able to be with the ones you love and the ones that love you most. Please, give them a hug or a kiss and tell them how much you love and treasure them. I'd exchange anything for those now. As I said, we don't know how much we have until we lost all of them.

I love you mom, dad and dearest sisters. :')

Reverie

Woop, hello again guys!
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG BREAK!
I was so busy with university preparation stuffs and arranging a music ensemble. :s


I have been reading and viewing motivational articles a lot lately. Decisions change our life. All those articles were relentlessly about change your life, do something, speak up, make your move, etc.
The adults (those authors and speakers) hinted that what we do now will determine ourselves in the future. As Steve Jobs mentioned in his commencement speech in Stanford University: "Of course it was difficult to connect the dots looking forwards. But it was very very clear looking backwards ten years later. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." and by dots here he meant the things we have done. Live our life like everyday is our last, and we will do something different that gives impact.

Making decision isn't that simple indeed. Especially for people at our age now where just in the past we had to get permission just to hang out with friends and now we are held against decision which will affect our life and future not for temporary but as a whole. As an anxious young man, I listen a lot. There are people who claims that doing what we love is the best for us whereas there is another group who advices me to do what I'm good at.

Let me elaborate this information. We have the things that we like and good at. For some, they are the same. In contrast, for others they may have very different fondness and specialty. (Okay, for you who claim to have nothing you're good at I can only say sorry to you :( ). Logically, we are more bounded to success given that we do the things we good at rather than the things we love. We have a basic skills and we are ahead of others and competitors. On the other hand, for the things we love, we might only have just right knowledge, skills and opportunity in it. This will hinder our progress. However, others might argue about life will be so miserable, being a slave to a particular banal and repetitive job. Nevertheless, wouldn't it be so bad if we do the same thing over and over again? Even if it is the thing we love, eventually we will lost our interest or even hate it. Ironically, in the end we could be no better than if we did something that we are better at.

There are no good or bad decision, nor best or worst scenario. The wrong thing is not doing anything!

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it."

It is not wrong to be open to critics and advices but we have to remember that it is our life and don't let anybody lives it for us. Just experiment with anything, make mistakes, falls, fails. Why should we afraid of failing? Pain? Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, an hour or a day, or even a year, but eventually, it will subside, and something else will take its place. If we quit and give up however, pain will last forever. It's now about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; it's how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!

Picture ourselves 10 years from now on. What will we be? Some might says doctors, engineers, entrepreneurs, accountants, scientists, whatever. We have our own dream. What have we done towards all of that? Can we just malinger? I don't think we can still procrastinate.  I have a dream that one day I will rise and be a successful entrepreneur, a great leader and an epitome for everyone. I want the world to be a little bit better because I exist.
If you ask is it wrong to set high expectations? The answer to that is no.
You can dream of being a noble prize baccalaureate, winning a Pulitzer prize, acquiring Grammy awards, anything you want.
Nonetheless we have to face the reality. Aiming high means we have a very little margin for error. We have to be outstanding among the best. It is not a trivial and spontaneous things you can get hands down.

"You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can''t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period." - Will Smith

I heard someone once said "he who said he can and he who said he can't are both usually right." Which one are you? However, again, saying and wanting do not suffice. Dig down ourselves and find out what we really want. It may sound hilarious to people, but no problem. Find a way and achieve it. Airplanes were preposterous back then, but now? A massive heavy steel structure can fly across the oceans.

For me, I believe that the moment we start failing is the moment we stop believing and dreaming. Many great inventions start from a reverie. Just decide everything and boom boom boom the dots are connected and we will be amazed ten years later. (Or perhaps we will regret not doing it?) :D

---Gio

High School Reminiscences

Hellooooooo, welcome again to my blog :D
I'm back to my daily school routine and I lost that 'leisure' which I used for typing.
I'd do my best to update this blog at least every week ;)
Thank you for those loyal readers (esp. those who read since 27th Jan)!
My apology if I can't keep the standard of the posts :(


So, "Back to school!" as how normally people express it in the social media. I know we all, as teenagers, hate school. The obligation to wake up early, followed with sitting and being a good listener for 7 hours++. We all wanted to graduate ASAP. I believe going to university sounds so wonderful in the mean time. Having all the freedom, independence, and the right to organize ourselves.
Nevertheless, we don't spend 7-8 hours of our life for the first 17 years for nothing at school.
I believe every single one of us have had that unforgettable experiences and moments!

My days are boring routine where I arrive early at school to complete some assignments, to get some extra sleep or to have some early breakfast. School has been really monotonous, I don't really learn much except for maths and chemistry. The rest of the classes are spent either being indolence or being the jester of the class.

My classroom is rather huge, occupied by 57 students. Being an odd number, there has to be someone who sits alone. Somehow that (I don't know it's lucky or not) student is me. Sitting by myself can be so fruitful at times. I have a more spacious room and privacy. When I'm not feeling jaunty, I usually can lay like a boneless human or maybe liquid on the desk and sleep without anybody pestering or prying. On the other hand, sometimes sitting alone can be lonely. Everybody is chatting and laughing with each other while I can only watch and be clueless about what they're talking about. When I need to cheat, there's no one to teach me solving exam questions nor anyone to teach to. However sitting alone makes me think a lot. I've been observing people, their interaction, their face expressions, every single one. There are many types of people I came across.

There are some groups of nerds sitting around the frontal area of the class. They don't talk much, and I believe if they do; they'll be about lessons or games or something eccentric to them. Sometimes when I mingle with them, I feel the educational vibes. They talk science-ly, jokes with some scientific phrasal included. Play video games ceaselessly. These groups have forte in board games too. They played chess or tic-tac-toe games a lot. They're not that unsociable, however their circles rarely intersects with mine. I know little of their friend despite having many acquaintances. In dealing with these people, don't get shy. Usually we have to start interact first, we don't have to be afraid of being ignored. I think they are keen of talking, just not having the confidence or feeling comfortable enough to start one.

The next group I am elaborating is a majority of girls. Some are hardcore fangirls, happy-go-lucky - ers, only-talk-to-desk-mate - ers, and those that exists. Fangirls in my class are the worst of a kind one I guess. It's as if their idols infect their mind with some kind of nano virus! (seriously). Just by following them on twitter can keep you updated about the idols' activity and news in a nick of time. Apparently that fangirl-ing is somehow contagious and undiscriminating. Pathetically, some of my bros have gotten into them and starting acting weird lol. In my opinion, we have to be open minded in dealing with them. They're passionate people. They can be very inspiring at times and make the class more vivacious. (ps. never insult their idols)
The happy-go-lucky - ers!!
These are the type that are laid back and really carefree about anything. They chat all the time, they are the most solid of all group. Even when the pedagogue is mad, they still don't care and proceed chatting. I think they have no fear like Rambo. They never rushed, even though they are late for class, they just waltz everywhere.
The ones that only interact with their desk-mate
It is very rare to hear their voice, not to mention having conversations with them. They talk only either with their desk-mate or when the teacher asked questions to them. They are really introvert, I cannot dig anything out from them. I think they are really good secret keeper lol.
The other is those that only exist.
I'm not sure what they do at class. They are like robots, don't really talk, study all the time, always complete homework, etc. I don't know yet how to deal with them. At least I know they exist..

Take out the geeks, omit the girls, subtract the introverts; what left are the people in my inner circle. They are of amazing diversity. All boys: rascals, math and computer geniuses, slackers, musclemen, harlequins, and even a very helpful one. Without them my high school days will be black and white. These are the people willing to skip classes with me for a lunch frenzy, a football game, etc.
Ironically, we are the most mischievous ones in class. For us, assignments are to be completed the day prior to deadline. In tedious moments, we can make everything into ebullience. In spite of looking unserious in our chores, we scored well in tests. When everybody pays attention to the teacher elaborating, they play at the back. Sometimes they even sleep! For the brainy ones, it's a pleasure to have them nearby. When I encountered some difficult questions, there aren't single question that can't be solved together. Calculus, binomial expansions, vectors, geometry, statistics, name it.
One of the biggest mistake in your life you can commit is not having these kind of friends in your life. High school doesn't happen twice!

Oh, I nearly forgot! There are also the ones that are absent at least once in a week. School doesn't seem so prominent to them. On some occasions, they just purposely go home with excuses. I understand they have better things to do at home rather than pointlessly spending time sitting and watching the teacher do nothing. Someone said to me "Going to school is useless, but not going to school is more useless!".

As I type this I didn't realize that what used to be a white blank page two hours ago is now filled with alphabets. Sitting alone really makes me think a lot. Today I have 56 friends sitting in the same class with me. At one point, we will have to segregate and walk our own path. I just don't want friends to be strangers. Thank you for carving memories into my hippocampus!


This is what my best friend and I  came up with 3 years ago:

"We started with nothing but friendship makes it everything"

It's deep, I know. ;)
Now he's studying in Singapore. We meet occasionally and still have that awesome moments hanging out!
I guess that's all for this post.
Sorry for being a little bit idle in blogging :s
Still you guys are awesome people :p

(I don't know how to position myself in the categories above but it will be really interesting to know hahaha..
Maybe I'm just a weirdo)
---Gio

Falcon

Sup' world?
My apology for the hiatus! :D *grind*

One of the few I really look up to is my dad. Here is a little facts about him. He originated from a rural area of North Sumatra. Born in 1967, he struggled all the way, starting his empire from zero and rose to be one of the most outstanding person in the town. In spite of all the success, his life was not always a happy life. He lost his parents when he was in primary school, leaving nothing but a hut (yes, it is very cramped and has only one room). He had to provide for himself since a very young age. Everything he thought me is invaluable life lesson that I can learn nowhere else and nobody else is that sincere in educating me. Things from philosophy, chivalry, attitude, knowledge, morality etc. are thought relentlessly. I know every dad does that to their children however I really feel like sharing this one particular lesson towards all of you.

No father wants to see their children fail in their life. Yet, success is an intricate prize in our life that requires determination, courage, perspiration, motivation and ceaseless efforts as well as, ironically, failures. My father expects me to be a good leader in the future, for his company and family. He explained that there are two kind of people that I will meet in life. Which are ayam dan elang (chicken and falcon).

The community of chicken, he explained, consists of the mediocre and/or the follower. Primarily, they do things according to instructions or gestures of those superior to them. They don't have motivation, innovation and creativity in anything. These are types that are even worse than late bloomers. Without the proprietor or higher ranked authority, they will be chaotic and clueless of what to do especially in the dire times. I guess that's why he addressed this group as chicken.

On the other hand, there is the falcon. It is obvious that what left are those keen, bright, genius, active, robust, stern, innovative, and bla bla bla people. (I ran out of adjectives). Like falcons, they soar up high in the sky. No one limit their movements and they can forage wherever, however, whatever they want. They are capable to lead and/or stand alone. When they speak, they can convince people and win their heart effortlessly. When they strike, they are intangible, unstoppable. They are, in the pareto principle, the 20 that do the 80 percents work.

He told me to identify and mingle with the falcons but not to desert the chicken on the other hand. Personally, of course, I desire to be the falcon and make him proud, anyhow I know not everybody got what it takes to be the falcon. Then at least be a rooster that leads those chickens to a better path :D

---Gio

Devotion

Cheers, folks! :D

Love. Everybody experienced it. Love here refers to infatuation and affection towards someone. Again, we as in this teenage phase, we easily adore people. Sometimes, we can fall in love just in a first sight. We are helplessly immobilized by that person in spite of who he or she is, what he or she has done. For others, they can be so vigilant and introvert. They will scrutinize and learn to know that person more before they open up and be comfortable with them.

Personally, I've been in a few relationships. I am so envious towards the couple who can stay together for a very long time or even forever! D'oh! They are each other's first and that's it they sustain in the relationship. I will just assume half of us have been through or are in a relationship. I know it's the best thing that can ever happened to us. We just wake up everyday and check our phone straight on for good morning texts and we go to bed every night smiling, imagining how our crush will look if they really say those lines to you. We sleep, looking forward to waking up and spending another day with them.

In a relationship, of course there will be frictions and arguments. It is common. Relationship is about two people putting effort in knowing each other, sharing everything and consoling. It is obvious an argument might happen one day. To better or worse. We didn't choose them for nothing, and so as they don't accept our love for nothing. They don't take us for granted, vice versa. Think about this; Why would they go through everything just to be with you? How much has he/she sacrifice for you? How happy are you when you're together? Cherish!

"Hell comes when the devil inside us thought that it can conquer everything."

Whatever happened, how bad it is. Just work it out together. You choose to be together, you face everything together and by that you to can get closer. Never suggest a breakup! Trust me, love is the only thing that is worth fighting till the end.
We just can't imagine the day of separation. One day nothing seems wrong and nothing bad happened. The next day everything can just tip and both of us can end up crying. The day when both of us are not together anymore. Everything changes. The texts, the smiles for you, the way she look at you. Nothing is the same anymore.

When things like that happen, then PLEASE don't act like it's the end of the world. (I did not only once). It was 3 years ago, I was in a relationship. Everything when smooth, we had ups and downs. We did fight, rant, rave however we always managed to get everything fine in the end. I would describe her as joyful, smart, winsome errrr she is that lively person up till now I believe.
I don't really comprehend what happened. Something bad spread. One things led to another, one misunderstanding and another. It just requires one bluff and make it cohere with the truth to make people believe everything.
Hence, we segregated.

I would say that it was one of the most despair moments in my life. The bewailing lasted for a week.
My friends had no idea how to cheer me up. I was a soulless body. Nonetheless, I gradually accepted everything. I learn to find the silver lining in every clouds. I observed every events in a different point of view. Things are just moving in a flow. As I'm saying flow, it means there are the joys and tears, beginning and end, climax and anti-climax, complication and resolution. Life is playing rhythm, it is called problems. We have to learn to dance with the rhythm or we can keep on complaining about how bad the music was.

I came to a realization, every problems that come to our life mold us to a better person. To a more mature stage. And as I went through hellos and goodbyes in friendship and relationship; I flourished. We don't solely get matured on living more days in this life, but also by solving problems, raising after being trampled behind, laughing after crying.

Love is not that simple, most of the times we are too naive, we thought that we know what we're dealing with. Now I really learn my lessons. For the coming lessons, I just don't want to involve in hurting people anymore especially those I care for, the one I love. :)

I am dealing with many problems currently, I fell, I rued, I cried. Problems are coming like storms. I am so grateful that someone reminded me that it can't rain forever. The storms will fade eventually, but as long as it still pours, don't get carried away with it. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain! (Sounds sexy, doesn't it?) haha…

---Gio

Icarus

Another greeting, fellas!

Wise men say the greatest lesson you can get is from experience. Make mistakes, fail and we shall flourish! The perks of being young, being a teenager, is that people easily tolerate our mistakes. We, teenagers, are desperately searching for our identity, what we good at, what our interests are. The best way to get the answer to all of these is by trying as well as making the most of every chances. We all have things that we regret not doing. I encountered a very intriguing line that stated "do something worth writing or write something worth reading"

Everybody had ever done something superb or stupid in their life. Regardless of their outcome, there's always something we can pick up from them. I was a point guard for my school's basketball team. My paramount experience was playing for my school in the province tournament. I remembered how thrilling was the final game. We were playing against Wahidin High School. It was the third quarter, we were losing behind  6 or 8 points. Every attack really counts and decides our fate. I recalled the coach was gesturing me to play the big man. We played the offense well, however there was this one player of the opposite team who was so complete. No one in our team can take him one-on-one. In the end of 3rd quarter, we were left 10 points behind.

We thought that that would be it for us. We proceed playing the last quarter, hoping for them to not beat  us with many score difference. It was a miracle, in the second minute, that "complete" player pulled his muscle and was incapable to continue playing. We found our chance and played beautifully. It was indisputable that we  came back in the last minute. Ultimately, we went home with glory. We won with several points difference. I was so overwhelmed with joy and pride. Every game there is a winning team and a losing team. Losing in final is really heartbreaking. It is like being the loser of the winner. 

A month later, Wahidin avenged us, they beat us in the semi final of another tournament. I posit that it was because we were condescending and too proud of ourselves. We didn't take them serious. We were like Icarus falling into the ocean as he flew too close to the sun.

The precious lessons here are that first, we have to stay humble. There's an indonesian proverb stated that we should learn from the grain. The more we possess inside us, the more we should bow/stoop. When we get overconfident, it is likely something bad will turn towards us. The other is don't give up so easily. We may have lost today, but tomorrow we can be the champion and stay on the top! Limits are made to be break. Dreams are made to be achieved. There's nothing that we can't fulfill.

We are all born unique and have our own strength as well as weakness.

In the end, everything will be okay; if it's not okay, then it's not the end ;)

Carpe diem!

---Gio

Camaraderie

Greetings again everyone in the internet!

Welcome to my blog :) and enjoy!

We as in this fluctuating-hormone phase of life (read: puberty) sure has unpredictable mood and emotions. Once we are in the bad mood or sensitive mode, everything just seems so exasperating! Even slightest noise or disturbance can make us explode and snap at people.

Nonetheless, there's always someone, somebody, a group of people whom we can't get angry to, who can magically understand and give solutions to our problem.

For me, those persons are my friends (best best best ones of course) and my siblings and not to be derelict, my foster sister.

I've been contemplating the whole day about the fact that I trust my friends more than my own parents or even siblings. I can share and vent all my emotions as well as problems to my friends even though we don't meet each other very much. In contrast, I've never shared a really meaningful slice of life or problems I had with my parents or siblings.

I don't have many good friends. I think I have that trust issue and prejudice. Most of the time, I tend to observe people. The way they dress, their table manner, how they talk, how they walk and how they solve math problems. lol. I am so selective in allowing people to enter my circle. If I like you, then I'll admire whatever you do, yet if I despised you in the first meet; it will be extremely hard for me to change my point of view.

The thing about growing up is, as we grow older, we built higher and thicker wall around ourselves. I remembered how in the primary school I can make friends with anyone just by exchanging pokémon cards or making impromptu conversations while waiting for being chauffeured. On the other hand, I gradually realize that people aren't so friendly anymore. Even my ex-classmates don't even "raise their eyebrows" when we bump into each other.

In my opinion, as we grow up, we faced many problems, experienced many glories, and possess more insecurities. One by one of our friends reveal their true identity. I just can't believe how my best friend now become a stranger to me and how my friend whom I know for only 3 years can be the vault of my secrets.

I believe we all were once very lively, very extrovert and curious about everybody and the whole world. We friended everybody we meet frequently, we don't even differ race or social status. Sadly, one thing led to another, we began to be protective, we don't want to be vulnerable anymore. We know how painful it is when something goes unexpectedly. Betrayal, separation, love, envy, hatred, wrath, etc.

I don't know if you all have this, but 3 to 4 years ago, I unexpectedly made someone my foster sister. At first, I didn't know what we really deal about. I just took it as a joke. We didn't communicate much, not even more than I communicate with my friends. Things changed when one day, I was so desperate about my relationship. (I forgot what was it about, maybe I'll ask her). A foster sibling turns out to be very very helpful and understanding! I can't believe that at first. I thought I would make a mistake by sharing to a new person which can make me very susceptible. I just don't know why or how, she is superbly warm and attentive! We shared a lot, lent each other shoulders, quarreled, teased, fought!

Up till now, I don't have any explanation about why I can be more open to outsiders than those who share the same blood with me. But one thing I want all of you to know is that, just don't be too afraid to open up! We can be selective, however just don't miss something so invaluable. Nobody in this world is born with nature of hurting. We are all born to socialize.

And for all of you who have or had these kind of friends or people. Please, open your eyes, they're the best people you can have in your life. Appreciate them, if they made mistake, forgive them; if you made mistake, apologize! Cause in the end, they're the most trustworthy people in this world.

I remembered in my granpa's funeral. There were plethora of people there, relatives, siblings, friends, acquaintances. But guess what, those who cries the most and couldn't accept his lost was his best friend. He cried like a mother losing her child for 5 night streak. (I didn't even cried that much).

So, before you failed to appreciate or to make any friends, why don't you just start making a gate way for that tall walls of bricks you built and let these special people in?

---Gio