Welcome to my blog :) and enjoy!
We as in this fluctuating-hormone phase of life (read: puberty) sure has unpredictable mood and emotions. Once we are in the bad mood or sensitive mode, everything just seems so exasperating! Even slightest noise or disturbance can make us explode and snap at people.
Nonetheless, there's always someone, somebody, a group of people whom we can't get angry to, who can magically understand and give solutions to our problem.
For me, those persons are my friends (best best best ones of course) and my siblings and not to be derelict, my foster sister.
I've been contemplating the whole day about the fact that I trust my friends more than my own parents or even siblings. I can share and vent all my emotions as well as problems to my friends even though we don't meet each other very much. In contrast, I've never shared a really meaningful slice of life or problems I had with my parents or siblings.
I don't have many good friends. I think I have that trust issue and prejudice. Most of the time, I tend to observe people. The way they dress, their table manner, how they talk, how they walk and how they solve math problems. lol. I am so selective in allowing people to enter my circle. If I like you, then I'll admire whatever you do, yet if I despised you in the first meet; it will be extremely hard for me to change my point of view.
The thing about growing up is, as we grow older, we built higher and thicker wall around ourselves. I remembered how in the primary school I can make friends with anyone just by exchanging pokémon cards or making impromptu conversations while waiting for being chauffeured. On the other hand, I gradually realize that people aren't so friendly anymore. Even my ex-classmates don't even "raise their eyebrows" when we bump into each other.
In my opinion, as we grow up, we faced many problems, experienced many glories, and possess more insecurities. One by one of our friends reveal their true identity. I just can't believe how my best friend now become a stranger to me and how my friend whom I know for only 3 years can be the vault of my secrets.
I believe we all were once very lively, very extrovert and curious about everybody and the whole world. We friended everybody we meet frequently, we don't even differ race or social status. Sadly, one thing led to another, we began to be protective, we don't want to be vulnerable anymore. We know how painful it is when something goes unexpectedly. Betrayal, separation, love, envy, hatred, wrath, etc.
I don't know if you all have this, but 3 to 4 years ago, I unexpectedly made someone my foster sister. At first, I didn't know what we really deal about. I just took it as a joke. We didn't communicate much, not even more than I communicate with my friends. Things changed when one day, I was so desperate about my relationship. (I forgot what was it about, maybe I'll ask her). A foster sibling turns out to be very very helpful and understanding! I can't believe that at first. I thought I would make a mistake by sharing to a new person which can make me very susceptible. I just don't know why or how, she is superbly warm and attentive! We shared a lot, lent each other shoulders, quarreled, teased, fought!
Up till now, I don't have any explanation about why I can be more open to outsiders than those who share the same blood with me. But one thing I want all of you to know is that, just don't be too afraid to open up! We can be selective, however just don't miss something so invaluable. Nobody in this world is born with nature of hurting. We are all born to socialize.
And for all of you who have or had these kind of friends or people. Please, open your eyes, they're the best people you can have in your life. Appreciate them, if they made mistake, forgive them; if you made mistake, apologize! Cause in the end, they're the most trustworthy people in this world.
I remembered in my granpa's funeral. There were plethora of people there, relatives, siblings, friends, acquaintances. But guess what, those who cries the most and couldn't accept his lost was his best friend. He cried like a mother losing her child for 5 night streak. (I didn't even cried that much).
So, before you failed to appreciate or to make any friends, why don't you just start making a gate way for that tall walls of bricks you built and let these special people in?
---Gio
No comments:
Post a Comment