Devotion

Cheers, folks! :D

Love. Everybody experienced it. Love here refers to infatuation and affection towards someone. Again, we as in this teenage phase, we easily adore people. Sometimes, we can fall in love just in a first sight. We are helplessly immobilized by that person in spite of who he or she is, what he or she has done. For others, they can be so vigilant and introvert. They will scrutinize and learn to know that person more before they open up and be comfortable with them.

Personally, I've been in a few relationships. I am so envious towards the couple who can stay together for a very long time or even forever! D'oh! They are each other's first and that's it they sustain in the relationship. I will just assume half of us have been through or are in a relationship. I know it's the best thing that can ever happened to us. We just wake up everyday and check our phone straight on for good morning texts and we go to bed every night smiling, imagining how our crush will look if they really say those lines to you. We sleep, looking forward to waking up and spending another day with them.

In a relationship, of course there will be frictions and arguments. It is common. Relationship is about two people putting effort in knowing each other, sharing everything and consoling. It is obvious an argument might happen one day. To better or worse. We didn't choose them for nothing, and so as they don't accept our love for nothing. They don't take us for granted, vice versa. Think about this; Why would they go through everything just to be with you? How much has he/she sacrifice for you? How happy are you when you're together? Cherish!

"Hell comes when the devil inside us thought that it can conquer everything."

Whatever happened, how bad it is. Just work it out together. You choose to be together, you face everything together and by that you to can get closer. Never suggest a breakup! Trust me, love is the only thing that is worth fighting till the end.
We just can't imagine the day of separation. One day nothing seems wrong and nothing bad happened. The next day everything can just tip and both of us can end up crying. The day when both of us are not together anymore. Everything changes. The texts, the smiles for you, the way she look at you. Nothing is the same anymore.

When things like that happen, then PLEASE don't act like it's the end of the world. (I did not only once). It was 3 years ago, I was in a relationship. Everything when smooth, we had ups and downs. We did fight, rant, rave however we always managed to get everything fine in the end. I would describe her as joyful, smart, winsome errrr she is that lively person up till now I believe.
I don't really comprehend what happened. Something bad spread. One things led to another, one misunderstanding and another. It just requires one bluff and make it cohere with the truth to make people believe everything.
Hence, we segregated.

I would say that it was one of the most despair moments in my life. The bewailing lasted for a week.
My friends had no idea how to cheer me up. I was a soulless body. Nonetheless, I gradually accepted everything. I learn to find the silver lining in every clouds. I observed every events in a different point of view. Things are just moving in a flow. As I'm saying flow, it means there are the joys and tears, beginning and end, climax and anti-climax, complication and resolution. Life is playing rhythm, it is called problems. We have to learn to dance with the rhythm or we can keep on complaining about how bad the music was.

I came to a realization, every problems that come to our life mold us to a better person. To a more mature stage. And as I went through hellos and goodbyes in friendship and relationship; I flourished. We don't solely get matured on living more days in this life, but also by solving problems, raising after being trampled behind, laughing after crying.

Love is not that simple, most of the times we are too naive, we thought that we know what we're dealing with. Now I really learn my lessons. For the coming lessons, I just don't want to involve in hurting people anymore especially those I care for, the one I love. :)

I am dealing with many problems currently, I fell, I rued, I cried. Problems are coming like storms. I am so grateful that someone reminded me that it can't rain forever. The storms will fade eventually, but as long as it still pours, don't get carried away with it. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain! (Sounds sexy, doesn't it?) haha…

---Gio

Icarus

Another greeting, fellas!

Wise men say the greatest lesson you can get is from experience. Make mistakes, fail and we shall flourish! The perks of being young, being a teenager, is that people easily tolerate our mistakes. We, teenagers, are desperately searching for our identity, what we good at, what our interests are. The best way to get the answer to all of these is by trying as well as making the most of every chances. We all have things that we regret not doing. I encountered a very intriguing line that stated "do something worth writing or write something worth reading"

Everybody had ever done something superb or stupid in their life. Regardless of their outcome, there's always something we can pick up from them. I was a point guard for my school's basketball team. My paramount experience was playing for my school in the province tournament. I remembered how thrilling was the final game. We were playing against Wahidin High School. It was the third quarter, we were losing behind  6 or 8 points. Every attack really counts and decides our fate. I recalled the coach was gesturing me to play the big man. We played the offense well, however there was this one player of the opposite team who was so complete. No one in our team can take him one-on-one. In the end of 3rd quarter, we were left 10 points behind.

We thought that that would be it for us. We proceed playing the last quarter, hoping for them to not beat  us with many score difference. It was a miracle, in the second minute, that "complete" player pulled his muscle and was incapable to continue playing. We found our chance and played beautifully. It was indisputable that we  came back in the last minute. Ultimately, we went home with glory. We won with several points difference. I was so overwhelmed with joy and pride. Every game there is a winning team and a losing team. Losing in final is really heartbreaking. It is like being the loser of the winner. 

A month later, Wahidin avenged us, they beat us in the semi final of another tournament. I posit that it was because we were condescending and too proud of ourselves. We didn't take them serious. We were like Icarus falling into the ocean as he flew too close to the sun.

The precious lessons here are that first, we have to stay humble. There's an indonesian proverb stated that we should learn from the grain. The more we possess inside us, the more we should bow/stoop. When we get overconfident, it is likely something bad will turn towards us. The other is don't give up so easily. We may have lost today, but tomorrow we can be the champion and stay on the top! Limits are made to be break. Dreams are made to be achieved. There's nothing that we can't fulfill.

We are all born unique and have our own strength as well as weakness.

In the end, everything will be okay; if it's not okay, then it's not the end ;)

Carpe diem!

---Gio

Camaraderie

Greetings again everyone in the internet!

Welcome to my blog :) and enjoy!

We as in this fluctuating-hormone phase of life (read: puberty) sure has unpredictable mood and emotions. Once we are in the bad mood or sensitive mode, everything just seems so exasperating! Even slightest noise or disturbance can make us explode and snap at people.

Nonetheless, there's always someone, somebody, a group of people whom we can't get angry to, who can magically understand and give solutions to our problem.

For me, those persons are my friends (best best best ones of course) and my siblings and not to be derelict, my foster sister.

I've been contemplating the whole day about the fact that I trust my friends more than my own parents or even siblings. I can share and vent all my emotions as well as problems to my friends even though we don't meet each other very much. In contrast, I've never shared a really meaningful slice of life or problems I had with my parents or siblings.

I don't have many good friends. I think I have that trust issue and prejudice. Most of the time, I tend to observe people. The way they dress, their table manner, how they talk, how they walk and how they solve math problems. lol. I am so selective in allowing people to enter my circle. If I like you, then I'll admire whatever you do, yet if I despised you in the first meet; it will be extremely hard for me to change my point of view.

The thing about growing up is, as we grow older, we built higher and thicker wall around ourselves. I remembered how in the primary school I can make friends with anyone just by exchanging pokémon cards or making impromptu conversations while waiting for being chauffeured. On the other hand, I gradually realize that people aren't so friendly anymore. Even my ex-classmates don't even "raise their eyebrows" when we bump into each other.

In my opinion, as we grow up, we faced many problems, experienced many glories, and possess more insecurities. One by one of our friends reveal their true identity. I just can't believe how my best friend now become a stranger to me and how my friend whom I know for only 3 years can be the vault of my secrets.

I believe we all were once very lively, very extrovert and curious about everybody and the whole world. We friended everybody we meet frequently, we don't even differ race or social status. Sadly, one thing led to another, we began to be protective, we don't want to be vulnerable anymore. We know how painful it is when something goes unexpectedly. Betrayal, separation, love, envy, hatred, wrath, etc.

I don't know if you all have this, but 3 to 4 years ago, I unexpectedly made someone my foster sister. At first, I didn't know what we really deal about. I just took it as a joke. We didn't communicate much, not even more than I communicate with my friends. Things changed when one day, I was so desperate about my relationship. (I forgot what was it about, maybe I'll ask her). A foster sibling turns out to be very very helpful and understanding! I can't believe that at first. I thought I would make a mistake by sharing to a new person which can make me very susceptible. I just don't know why or how, she is superbly warm and attentive! We shared a lot, lent each other shoulders, quarreled, teased, fought!

Up till now, I don't have any explanation about why I can be more open to outsiders than those who share the same blood with me. But one thing I want all of you to know is that, just don't be too afraid to open up! We can be selective, however just don't miss something so invaluable. Nobody in this world is born with nature of hurting. We are all born to socialize.

And for all of you who have or had these kind of friends or people. Please, open your eyes, they're the best people you can have in your life. Appreciate them, if they made mistake, forgive them; if you made mistake, apologize! Cause in the end, they're the most trustworthy people in this world.

I remembered in my granpa's funeral. There were plethora of people there, relatives, siblings, friends, acquaintances. But guess what, those who cries the most and couldn't accept his lost was his best friend. He cried like a mother losing her child for 5 night streak. (I didn't even cried that much).

So, before you failed to appreciate or to make any friends, why don't you just start making a gate way for that tall walls of bricks you built and let these special people in?

---Gio

Avant garde

Greetings everybody in the internet world!

This is the first time ever for me to blog and I wish everybody can enjoy it and benefit from it. :)

Here, in this blog will be my daily rant and rave, joys and anguish where I guess all adolescents or delinquents can relate to.

Being a teenage is really a traumatic phase of life!

Just imagine how fast and spontaneous life hit us.

Being in my 17, it is inevitable for me to commit a very vital decision in one's life, that is to choose my major and where to continue my studies.

All these years, I stayed in the same school since kindergarten (it's about 15 years, yes it is like my second house) and I never have to worried about moving or transferring to any school because my school teaches up to high school levels.

The topics in classroom changes. I still remembered how my classmates and I used to talked about the cartoons that played weekly in Sundays, and suddenly we are in our junior high school (or secondary school) talking about facebook, gadgets, café and cinema movies.

Now everybody seems to involuntarily discuss about colleges and campuses.

Questions like

"Hey, what field will you decide to take for your university major?"

"Where are you deciding to go? Australia, Singapore, UK or US?"

"Have you received your SAT, TOEFL or IELTS scores?"

are suddenly ubiquitous.

For me myself, I would describe my journey in this phase as thrilling, exciting yet terrifying!

I am surely going to get my bachelor degree in the US.

I really am looking forward to studying in NY or Boston!

For the university, I will keep it undisclosed in the mean time. :p

The biggest challenge for me is that I don't have any acquaintance there. I will be alone, I will be starting a new game in my life, writing a new page in my book and facing a world completely different from where I was raised.

I will have to leave my family alone, to stay and to mingle with people all over the world there.

Sometimes I am anxious about will I be forlorn or will I have lots of friends.

Can I survive in the GPA race or will I be trampling behind?

However, staying in Medan (I haven't mentioned it, I live in Medan, North Sumatra, Indonesia) is also pointless for me.

Honestly, everything here has given me bad memories and bitterness. Everywhere I go, woosh, all I can get are flashbacks and reminiscences.

I had had failed in relationships, and friendships.

There's like nobody in this life that I can truly trust. Today somebody could be very warm to you, cared so much about you and the very next day, guess what, they don't even have their time for you anymore.

All in all, I just believe that time is a river. Anything else is just ornament, those happy things and sad things. We just have to get over it. One day we are at the top of the wheel, and who knows the next day we are at the nadir.

Focus on what really matters, don't impress people cause if people really like you, you don't have to make them like you.

In the end, what we achieve for ourselves count, not what we achieve for others.

I guess I have to end my first post here as it is too boring and long to read. hehehe

Thank you for those who have read, you guys are awesome people!

Carpe diem

---Gio